


Peter Parker's Mid-life Crisis

by KarasuNei



Series: The Crisis Life of Wade and Peter [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, BAMF Avengers, Black Cat is a bitch, Fluff, Humor, It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, M/M, Mention of Loki - Freeform, Mention of Sam & Rhodes, Mistress Death - Freeform, Nothing bad happens!, Peter is a dork, Spideypool - Freeform, Wade Being Wade, bucky is an avenger, bucky is awesome, mention of Thanos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7082539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarasuNei/pseuds/KarasuNei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter takes a moment of his life (swinging among buildings and listening to Wade's babbling on his back, naturally) and reflect on the Avengers' insistence.</p><p>(Is now a two-shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wade is Peter's crisis

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to Marvel.
> 
> Basically has been toying with this idea in my head for a while and finally have the time to write it. My very first attempt at Spideypool! I hope I didn't go overboard on the jokes and puns because Peter and Wade can be so silly ./nervous laughing
> 
> No beta yet, please don't hit me :(((((

     “You’re an idiot.” Peter’s tone is flat as he swings across the skyscrapers of New York towards a seedier, a lot less shiny area with a merc, well, ex-merc, clutching to his back koala style. If a koala could be decked out in all kind of homicidal weapons and was crackling like a mad, mad man. And also was not-very-low-key humping Peter’s back.

 

     “Awe, Petey-poo tryna hurt wittle Wadey-poo’s feelings?” Deadpool’s voice is obnoxiously shrill, the much larger man wiggles his crotch against Spiderman’s ass, all the while blowing into Peter’s ear. The last action sends a violent shiver down Peter’s spine, not a good kind of shiver either, because fucking sensitive nerves, and only manages to wrings himself (and the giant man-child on his back) away from slamming into the side of a building at the last second.

 

     “Wade!!” Peter snaps, but it definitely doesn’t deter Wade from enthusiastically bumping his half-wood onto Peter (lower back now because Wade is jostled by all the movements), “Messing with a guy who has tank missiles armed in his freaking suit is not exactly _wise_ , so I retain my rights to call out on your stupidity.”

 

     “Oh please, cut the snark, baby boy.” Wade blows a loud raspberry on Peter’s left shoulder blade, “Don’t deny that it wasn’t hilarious. I mean, it’s Tin Man blowing giant bubbles out of his thrusters! Ha! _Thrusters_!”

 

     If he isn’t busy holding onto the web, Peter would face-palm himself so hard, there would be a huge bruise on his face for days. Fine, he admits, Peter did find it funny (after a moment of absolute terror) when instead of blasting out enough fiery force to lift Tony Stark airborne (which Wade might or might not have referred to various fart jokes many times already), the exhausts stuttered and blew out six oddly symmetrical pink bubbles. What’s worse, this marks the newest suit that Tony has been spending months of sleepless nights and bragging days on. Peter is pretty sure Clint pissed himself laughing when the air was filled with an artificial strawberry scent. What shocked Spiderman even more is when Bucky, the poster boy for broody stoic goth trends, handed a howling Wade a fifty bill. Tony’s face had turned an alarming shade of mottled purple and Peter is pretty sure he would be scraping off the Goo That Was Formerly Wade Wilson on the Avengers Tower’s landing pad if he didn’t wisely take said Wade and hightailed away from the furious inventor. Thank Heavens, or Thor’s one-eyed father, that this test run thing was only a show to polish Tony’s already inflated ego, and nothing actually serious. At least Wade provided entertainment…or that’s what Peter reasons with himself.

 

     This makes Spiderman freeze mid-swing, almost drops both him and a whooping ex-merc onto the pavement below before Spider-sense caught up. Peter is stunned when he resumes his previous action, Wade’s babbling in his ears unheard.

 

     How did Peter’s life come to this?

 

     He was just your ordinary friendly neighbourhood hero in red-blue spandex a couple years back when a burly Mercenary came crashing into his life. Literally, and Peter ended up having to burn that suit because there’s no bleaching the stain of a decapitated leg being flung into his chest. Peter believes he threw up inside his mask a little when Deadpool hobbled over, snatched said leg and promptly shoved it back into its socket with a sickening wet noise. At least Peter was (still is) proud of himself for not passing out at that grotesque sight of the muscles and skin knitting themselves together. He didn’t know who the hell Deadpool was then (was only applying for the Avengers at that point, thank you very much) and offered to help the guy. Later, Peter regretfully found out that the only reason why Wade was fighting without weapons in the first place was because someone stole his pile of “babies”. Which Peter actually misunderstood as literal  _babies_ , as in pink wiggly human _infants_. Needless to say, Spiderman wanted to smash his own head through a wall when Deadpool blew him sloppy kisses as he teleported away with an unconscious unnamed villain.

 

     From that point onwards, Spiderman and the Merc with a Mouth constantly crossed paths, with much exasperation from the former and pure glee from the latter. Somehow, snarky bickers turned into team-ups, unpleasant encounters turned into late dinners on undisclosed rooftops. Wade, much to Peter’s mortification and hidden joy, wormed himself into the young superhero’s very quiet (another word for “lonely”) life. They came to share stories, which were either emotional nights that got both hunched against each other until sunrise, pained and relieved but too stubborn to admit so, or so much laughter they were left in stitches. They surprisingly have a lot in common, especially when it comes to pop culture references. Despite his reputation of being dangerous and unstable (both true),Wade became a friend that Peter could confine into. And later, much to Peter’s chagrins, a roommate when Wade blew off all his cash buying cargo containers worth of _lychee_ , resulting in the merc’s apartment chock full of the sticky sweet fruit. One perfectly good day (the sun was fucking shining and he didn’t ever get roasted once by Jameson!!), Peter came back to his dingy apartment only to be hit in face with the overwhelming smell of pancakes. Wade, to this day, burst out laughing at the image of Peter bewildered dangling from the ceiling, glasses hung askew on his nose and brown eyes almost popped out of his face. Peter was pretty sure the pancakes were a gesture of goodwill, but it was difficult to accept when the asshole that made them didn’t even seem mildly apologetic when Peter’s cramped counter was stacked fill of hot pastry.

 

     They moved into a bigger place after Wade accidentally let a grenade explode in the living-room. Peter was naturally kicked out and couldn’t afford anywhere else, so he was forced to tag along with Wade instead, which the former was highly suspicious that it was Deadpool’s master plan the whole time. A lot of ground rules were established, which resulted in Wade calling Peter his Den Mother, and they have been living together since. Note, _living_ -together, not _together_ -together. Despite Wade’s incessant flirting and lewd attempts, Peter is still adamantly holding his fort. Mostly. It really doesn’t help when the Avengers only recruited Spiderman because words on the street say that Deadpool is a lot less volatile and homicidal when a certain arachnid hero is around. Which is all the time now, unfortunately, because they are living together. Wade takes fewer jobs, knowing Peter’s distaste in him “un-aliving” people, becomes extremely selective about his targets, and even got into a temp contract with S.H.I.E.L.D.. This surprised Peter greatly, if not saying he was monumentally relieved. He always believes that there is much good underneath Wade crazy and murderous mercenary persona, which is why Peter has been sticking out for Wade in the first place, and is happy that Wade is at least trying to reform. The merc has his bad days, of course, but he never kills the innocent, not since they started hanging out if that counts. If Wade fucks up, or thinks that he does, he beats himself over it, especially if Peter has this disappointed look aiming at him, which Wade claims to hurt a lot more than being shot. With bazookas.

 

     Anyhow, Avengers initiated Spiderman into their ranks only because he seems to have a leash on someone they never had any control over. Peter wasn’t sure if he should be offended or ecstatic at the time. But his determination of staying aloof and indifferent evaporated in an embarrassing speed once he got to talk to _Tony Stark_ , the super genius mechanic, and Bruce Banner, the brilliant scientist with anger issues, pun intended. Peter didn’t expect himself and Wade of all people to fit in so quickly and easily with the rest of the Avengers. They still live in their apartment, in a scruffy building downtown, despite Stark having a suite reserved in Peter’s name at the tower. Peter turned down the offer as soon as he realised that Wade wasn’t allowed living there. Not much later, a mortified Peter had almost attempted to dig himself a hole and hide there for the rest of eternity because of the automatic refusal that he deeply regretted, but then the genuine surprise and overwhelming gratitude in Wade’s eyes for the rest of the day was kind of worth it. Plus, as Peter keeps telling himself, Wade is a culinary genius, while, for the most parts, it seems like the Avengers live on take-outs and frozen food ( _expensive_ take-outs and frozen food, Tony might argue, but still.) Even if Peter, after moving away from Aunt May, had lived the majority of his adult life on pre-packed meals, a warm home-cooked dinner is a treasure in its own regards. Even if Wade mostly cooks Italian and Mexican all the time (dem gnocchi tho…)

 

     Within the first month of Peter joining the Avengers (Wade is still only a reserve, much of that is because of Tony’s protests thanks to the whole stolen jet incident, and shockingly _not_ for the killer-for-hire past), he became an intern at Stark Industry and Banner’s unofficial assistant. Totally is a wet dream for a nerd (like himself) and, even hours after the initial call, Peter was pretty sure he had a hallucination. Despite their disagreements about Wade (Peter doesn’t even know why he stubbornly defends the merc so much), he and Tony work splendidly together, especially with computing and machinery stuff. Never mind Bruce’s alter ego, the quiet scientist also takes very well to Peter and the three of them can always be found puttering about in the labs. Essentially (not), Wade just has to dub them the Nerd Patrol, which earned the merc a charred lung thanks to Ironman’s repulsor.

 

     Unexpectedly, Wade got on extremely well with Bucky and Clint, probably because of the whole ex-merc, ex-assassin kind of thing, and it doesn’t seem to be difficult to win Wade’s affection. Trust is an entirely different matter, but it is a start at least. Peter often finds himself turning a dopey affectionate grin away when he stared a bit too long at Wade babbling Russian to a quiet Winter Soldier, or Wade bickering with Hawkeye about how they should steal Captain America’s favourite pastry with bows and arrows, Robin Hood style. God knows Wade needs more friendly faces in his life (granted, most of the people here did try to get a shot at Deadpool before) and not just mooning all over Peter. Whenever Logan shows his flee-ridden face (Wade’s words) at the tower, the Canadian part of the team always has an impromptu beer drinking session. Which only include Deadpool and Wolverine, obviously. Also only because Wade would whine until the two of them got forcefully shoved out of the tower, because two immortals splattering each other's blood on Tony’s immaculate and shiny designer walls is a no-no.

 

     Not to say that Wade stops following Peter around, though. Oh no, the merc seeks out the spider like a lost, heavily scarred and armed puppy, mouth yapping at supersonic speed. Peter is honestly terrified (and a bit smug) that he is the only one in the entire Avengers roster that can follow whatever the hell Wade babbles about. Which, unfortunately, leads to a bunch of assumptions.

 

     “How long have you two been together?” One day, Natasha’s smoky voice made Peter choke on his coffee, sputtering intelligibly because _no_ , they _aren’t_ together, Wade and Peter are simply _roommates_.

 

     “With benefits.” Tony’s snicker earned him a well-aimed wrench to the ass.

 

     “You might as well anyway. You two are hardly ever seen without the other.” Bruce’s soft voice had Peter forgoing his coffee and mini project altogether. While angry, Peter wasn’t dumb enough to throw something at _the Hulk_ , so he simply walked out of the lab muttering to himself.

 

     And that’s not even including the time when Hawkeye decided to show up very randomly through their apartment window. Honestly the man has been taking the whole bird thing a bit too seriously. And he won’t.stop.bitching every time there is a chance for him to bring that up.

 

     “What kind of roommates _cuddle_ on the fucking couch watching fucking _Golden Girls_??? Oh yeah, one of you were half naked too!!” Clint chirped in his opinion, ignoring Cap’s very annoyed “Language!!” and Wade’s bristling defence in the name of Bea Arthur. Peter just covered his face miserably, trying so hard to not think about how hot his face had become.

 

     Being a member of the Avengers is completely and utterly amazing, a dream comes true for Peter Parker, who the world really loves to shit on. Tony’s offer of a job also saved Peter’s poor soul from being decimated in the Daily Bugle, both as a sad photographer and being roasted as Spiderman. But being an Avenger and Tony’s affectionately named “lab stooge” come with a bunch of superheroes that ridiculously resemble a big dysfunctional family. They all have their own opinion about everything, stubbornness varying depends on their trades and ability, which really doesn’t say a lot, considering the members. Russia's Next Top Superspy, a billionaire with PTDs and has an unhealthy obsession with mechs who also has an AI butler/child, their residential God thinks everything is worth a celebration over which often results in a lot of broken ceramics, America’s Sweetheart (Wade’s dub) who is frankly quite clueless and has caveman professionalism when it comes to handling technology (Tony’s dub), deadly Tweety bird, deadlier awkward scientist and tall, dark metal arm. Not to mention the people who frequent but not exactly living at the tower. Since Peter joined, he kind of turned into the adopted baby of the team, who came with a bonus package of a maniacal immortal mercenary. The same person who everyone else insists that Peter is dating.

 

     Nevertheless, they all decide to give Peter advices and tips about his love life, which makes Peter seriously contemplate stabbing his own eardrums out many times. Tony once went down the line of “I thought you had standards, Pete, but at least you’re getting laid, amirite?” and proceeded to lecture poor Spidey for half an hour about possible _positions_. Peter can swear he has never been that scarred his entire life.

 

     So what? They live together. They spend their meals together except whenever one of them has to be away, like every other roommate in the world. Occasionally have a gaming session and binge watching TV…With cuddles…Peter enjoys Wade’s banter, he enjoys the ex-merc’s food and he enjoys spending time together. Sure, Wade has this crave for skin-to-skin contact whenever they are at home, and they tend to have silly toe-wrestling matches when they prop their feet on the coffee table together. Wave always makes sure that Peter has enough sleep between work and being Spidey, while Peter always makes sure that Wade’s skin doesn’t feel uncomfortable against any kind of fabric at home. They team-up perfectly, not needing a communicator since they just _know_ each other that well to synchronise during a battle. Wade knows just how Peter likes his eggs boiled and Peter knows the perfect temperature for Wade’s bath…

 

     Peter’s stomach drops when they arrive at their place. _Their_ home.

 

     Well, fuck. Mid-life crisis it is.

 

     To think about it, he has never been this close to anybody that isn’t his family. Not Harry, Gwen or even M.J. There has always been a sense of reservation, because Peter wants none of his beloved to be involved in his hectic life of a vigilante. Not even Aunt May knows. Gwen knows, but he had always avoided the topic with her, not wanting his best friend, or former best friend at that note, to get hurt because of him. They drifted apart, and it was painful for Peter, but he kept telling himself that it is for the best. Time did the rest of the work, especially after Harry went full Goblin-shit crazy. Peter just stopped socialising. M.J. was the last to leave.

 

     Then Wade stumbled into his life, and Peter simply can’t keep him out. Deadpool has been around much longer and got into so much worse shit than Spiderman has. They are just as lonely as one another, outcasts with nowhere to go. One who tried, failed and let the world has its way with him, the other tried so hard every waking moment with so little recognition and has the world shits all over him. Wade gives Peter a sense of _belonging_ , and Peter can safely say it’s the other way around, too _._ It’s cheesy and a bit stupid, when Peter thinks about it, but it works somehow. Plus, Peter’s sass matches Wade’s crazy.

 

     Looking all around the apartment, for the first time, Peter can see so many aspects of their life have woven together and wants to smack himself for being so oblivious. A forgotten grenade collecting dust on top of a cupboard displaying science fair ribbons, _My Little Pony_ monthly magazine issues stacked messily on top of Newton’s _Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica_ , Wade’s battered stuffed unicorn propped against Peter’s spare web-shooters…Little things like that, so simple and unrecognisable make Peter want to cry. His feet automatically lead himself to the couch (salvaged from Wade’s apartment) and Peter slumps down with a half choke, half laugh.

 

     The Avengers are right.

 

     “Baby boy?” Wade is alarmed. Honestly people don’t give him enough credits. Wade is neither stupid nor ignorant. Wade knows more languages than anybody Peter has met, and he is extremely observant. Especially when it comes to the people that Wade cares about. Peter isn’t even sure how he is on that list. Wade must have realised how quiet Peter had been the entire ride home. The muscly man in red and black spandex fidgets, standing awkwardly before Peter, “Was it something I said, sweetums? Are you really that mad about Stark’s fart machine? Petey, I’-…”

 

     Peter cuts him short by patting the sofa. Wade immediately complies, his solid frame sucked into the soft cushion. Patiently, the larger man waits, sitting close enough but not touching, and Peter can tell Wade is trying so hard to not move, like he can startle Peter somehow. Not very far from the truth…Peter pulls off his mask, not missing the small intake of breath beside him. Wade always does this, like Peter’s face in a wonder to behold. Wade keeps saying that Peter is pretty, the prettiest he has ever seen, that Spiderman doesn’t just have the most delectable ass, but also has the most beautiful eyes. Peter often brushes this off, because Wade constantly flirts with him all the time, and Peter has always thought of himself as just another normal, dull guy. Pretty mediocre, at best. But Wade obviously has different ideas, and now, to think about it, Peter has never seen Wade flirt with anyone else. Sure, the ex-merc has a big mouth that goes off at everyone and anyone he crosses path. But Peter is the only one to be the receiving end of all his cutesy nicknames and praises.

 

     Funny thing is…Peter has never seen Wade’s face.

 

     He never pushes either, knowing that Wade’s face must be just as scarred as the rest of him. Wade walks around the house out of his suit without much reservation now, sometimes with only boxers, but the mask _always_ stays on. Of course, Peter wouldn’t care if Wade’s face is really the hamburger meat he jokes about. Peter has seen enough of the man’s mouth and jaws when they eat together. Hell, Peter has seen Wade stuffing his intestines back into his stomach, waiting for the healing factor to kick in before. Peter was the one to wipe off the blood on the merc’s chiselled abs that day, scarred they might be, as Wade babbled on about something along the line of riding a winged tiger to cross the rainbow or some shit. But the mask stays on, because Wade insists. His self-deprecation is crippling, thinking of both his mind and body are an unwanted mess. But Peter finds himself disagreeing…

 

      “Wade…?”  Peter croaks, poorly preventing his thoughts from straying any further and startling the man beside him, “Are we…Are we dating?”

 

     Wade goes so completely still that if it wasn’t for the man’s rapid heartbeats, Peter would have thought the ex-merc had a stroke. Peter feels himself blushing; his hands clammy inside the gloves and his eyes stay glued on the white lenses of his own mask.

 

     “Do you want us to?” Wade’s voice is so frail, with just a hint of desperate hope and so much _fear_ that make Peter’s heart tremble, “I-I mean…Have the Avengers been teasing you again? Because, _wow_ , those assholes! I knew Stark deserves a lot more than just bubblegums! I’mma go back in there and install magnets for his beloved Tin suits’ pedestals and put laxative in his milk! Then Tweety’s gonna-“

 

     The merc makes a rude and aggressive gesture with his fingers, which cracks a smile on Peter’s face. The younger man puts a gentle hand on Wade’s bicep, halting his movements. The white eyes of the Deadpool mask are widened (Peter still has no idea how Wade’s mask can be so expressive) and it sounds like Wade bites down on his lower lip really hard. Peter winces, getting used to the smell of blood now that he’s living with Wade, and he slowly traces a finger on the ex-merc’s chin. Wade whines, leaning a little into the touch yet forcing himself to stay still. It amazes Peter how this man before him could be so crash and shameless just fifteen minutes ago, but shy and considerate sitting here, in their living room that smells of gunpowder and Mexican spices.

 

     A rush of warmth fills Peter’s entire being as he cups the side of Wade’s face, “Different context here, but yes I do.”

 

     Wade freezes again and Peter is afraid that he would pull away, but the bigger man makes a sad keening noise at the back of his throat, “Baby boy, you have no idea how I’m feeling right now. But I…you…You don’t want _this_. I make Green Giant emotionally stable and Canned Arm a model citizen! Huh, Green Giant and Canned Arm, that’s a good one, but still-“

 

     “We have been living together for three years and I’m still alive without bullet holes. Well, at least not bullet holes from _you_.” Peter speaks thoughtfully, but his hand is still firmly planted on Wade’s cheek, rubbing small circles through the fabric that keeps them separated. Wade’s jaws flex, but Peter presses down slightly with his fingertips, giving the older man a flat look, getting serious now, “We’re not just living together Wade, we practically do everything together. You’re the only person I trust enough to carry a whole arsenal riding on my back.”

 

     Wade gives a small, weak chuckle at “riding”, and Peter finds himself smiling wider, “You are the only one who can stomach my atrocious cooking and I’m pretty sure you know my habits better than myself. And Wade, I know I don’t nearly say this enough, and I sorry for it, but…” Peter shakes his head, feeling the intensity of Wade’s stare on him, “Wade, you _are_ a good person. You have a big heart and you deserve so, _so_ much better than what the world gives you. And I…”

 

     Peter inhales, holds his breath, and exhales in a huge rush that makes him slightly dizzy. Wade’s eyes are still unmoved from Peter’s face. The younger man flusters, his voice shaking, but his hand still isn’t faltered, “I’ll be glad if…if you’d have me.”

 

     Wow, that came out lame, but Peter finds himself unable to care as Wade crushes him into broad, muscled chest. Peter long fingers clutched onto the spandex, Wade’s grip is desperate as if he tries to engulf the smaller man with his entire body. Peter isn’t sure if he minds that. He realises belatedly that being around Wade makes him feel _safe_ , and his past-self would probably scoff at that, “Deadpool” and “safe” in the same sentence.

 

     “I should prob’bly prank Stark more often.” Wade’s voice is muffled at the junction between Peter’s shoulder and neck. Peter snorts and laughs, tentatively kissing the red spandex in front of him, directly above Wade’s heart.

 

     Maybe he isn’t going to see how Wade really looks under that mask any time soon and they still have a hell lot to talk about. This can get awkward, because Peter has been going without a relationship for so long, Wade probably worse. They both have insecurities, despite equally large mouths. But they are going _somewhere, together_ , and that’s what really counts. Tomorrow is a new day and, for once, Peter isn’t dreading of waking up, even if they probably are going to have to face a furious billionaire. Who is also Peter’s boss.

 

     Heh, maybe having a mid-life crisis isn’t so bad after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy <3


	2. Peter is Perfect (With a capitol P)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys, I'm so happy and giddy right now...I honestly didn't expect this little piece of work to get so many hits and kudos! You guys are seriously awesome. So this chapter goes out for all of you wonderful people!! Hope you guys like it *sends lots of sloppy air kisses*

                Peter is perfect.

 

                No fanfare or fancy adjective, because that’s what he is to Wade. _Perfect_. The adorable little spider might insist otherwise, but to Wade he is. After their admittedly less than ideal talk/confession thing (at least to Peter it was less than ideal, Wade on the other hand thinks he is on Cloud-Nine), not a lot of aspects in their life change. Again, not to Petey really, but Wade almost cried when his baby boy hauled Wade’s single bed over to his nerdy wittle lair. They share room now, and made note to buy a bigger bed whenever they find the time to get to IKEA, because the crack between the two adjoined ones can get quite uncomfortable during the tussles between sheets (wink wink). Wade is so happy about this entire development, he didn’t even argue when Peter said no to swinging from their apartment to the furniture store and back with multiple packs of cheap pressed woods. Heh, _woods_ …

               

                Wade enjoys cuddle time, and if he had his way, anytime would be cuddle time. Sitting shoulder to shoulder, ankles hooking around each other while watching TV. Wade taking a nap with his head in Petey’s lap as he works on the web-shooters. Bickering about which card to use in Hearthstone, with Peter sitting between Wade’s legs, the ex-merc’s body practically draping all over the younger man, both poking the touch screen aggressively. Even when they are out for missions or patrols, even when they are fighting some random villains that Wade honestly can’t care to remember names, the ex-merc has to brush his hand, or shoulder, or any part of his body over Peter’s, just because he wants to make sure the other man is still there. Wade doesn’t believe in any higher power, if there was any, they have abandoned him long ago, plus the past constant strokes with Thanos and the Mistress Death definitely didn’t boost any kind of belief he has. But if he did, Wade would thank whoever that scraped together all the good karma he made over the years and gave him Peter. Someone that genuinely cares about the mess that is Wade and, even before establishing their relationship as _official_ (Wade totally went to change his relationship status on Facebook that day, sue him), has been putting up with him for three whole years. Not even Bob, Weasel or Blind Al managed to do that (except under the threat of death), _living_ and constantly seeing Wade on a _daily basis_. Peter has never been afraid of him (well, not including the possibility of Wade accidentally destroy their apartment, _again_.) And is now _officially_ dating the ex-merc…Like _wow_ , Wade can repeat that over and over until the words string together into something crazy like Hodor.

 

                …Okay, that was bad. Hodor is totally cool, man.

 

                Point is, not only Peter makes Wade feel like a _person_ again, Wade still can’t fathom just how in the Nine Hells (or Ten, or whatever) he landed _dat ass_. Round, firm and perfectly symmetrical in tight spandex. And dat ass be aaaaaall Wade’s. He actually has THE Permission to touch now, too! In and out of clothing. Just thinking about that makes Wade want to sprout wings out of his butt and flutter up to the sky!!! And Peter isn’t just _physically_ hot, his attitude is like…Wooowheeee!

 

                When they were still technically roommates, Wade’s insides always did a little flip-flop (completely different from being scrambled with fire or rockets) whenever Peter defended him from the others’ (mostly Avengers) ill-spoken words (mostly teases, unless it’s Tony. The bastard is also still pissed about the whole bubble gum thing.) But now, _holy shiet_ baby boy can go into a protective rage quicker than Thor pulling his pants up whenever Loki is mentioned. Or Green Giant getting his delectable cream puffs stolen (wow, that came out wrong. Ha, _came…_ )  Wade discovered this new perk a week after the whole talk thingie, when they had to stop Black Cat from breaking into yet another bank. Ole Daddy ‘Pool had been very gleefully piggy-back riding (Get it? _Riding_ ) Spidey O’, and, per usual, parted dat beautiful lean lither backside with a lingering pat on da ass. Apparently, the cleavage-jiggling burglar didn’t appreciate that.

 

                “Really, Pete?” Felicia Hardy drawled, a hand on her curvaceous hip suggestively and cockily, “Didn’t want to believe it, but you’re really hooking up with mincemeat over there? A new low for you, huh?”

 

                Both Wade and Peter froze at that moment. Shame burned Wade’s entire being, his mouth tasted like dirt and depression was threatening to swallow him whole. Well, fuck. He should have known. Petey _did_ have a fling or some sort with Black Cat before, even though he didn’t elaborate much on that. Later on, Wade would learn that Hardy has this strange infatuation, bordering obsession towards Peter, and the ex-merc would get all furious. Later. But now…Like _fuck_ , dude dated the _smoking hot_ piece of bitchiness here and she was right, Wade is a steaming pile of-

 

                He was startled out of his self-hate inner rant when his baby boy let out an inhuman scream, jump-kicked the cat burglar in the stomach, sending her _through_ a wall. Wade’s lower jaw dropped, and he was pretty sure the Pussycat Dolls reject was too stunned to act out at this as well, when Peter locked both her arms behind her back with one hand, the other clutched at the back of her neck.

 

                “Apologise, _now_!” Peter’s growl was full of cold, savage _rage_ that had chills run down Wade’s spine. The ex-merc honestly didn’t know if he should be turned on or pissing himself at the moment. Black Cat let out a wheeze, and Wade almost laughed at how her immaculate white hair was sticking out in all directions with chunks of debris.

 

                “Not to _me_ , to _him_!”

 

                Wade froze again, but not because of the hateful glare Black Cat was giving him while spitting out the words. Honestly, if you asked Wade then, he was _definitely_ melting. Not just because Peter chose him over the well-endorsed thief, but Peter was protective enough of Wade to trample on a bunch of his own moral codes. We are talking about Spiderman here, the goody two-shoes that sometimes put Captain America himself to shame. And Peter was willing to hit a girl, also his fucking _ex_ (granted, Black Cat can take a lot more than just a kick, but still) to defend Wade. Wade, whom people would rather pummel into pulp first, before considered asking. And Peter…Peter just _knows_. Peter _cares_.

 

 

                After that whole fiasco, when Felicia Hardy was escorted to jail hissing and when the two of them were finally home, Peter proceeded to freak the fuck out over what he did. Something along the line of “Oh my _God_ , Wade, I didn’t even _think_!! I could have seriously damaged her!!”, but Wade laughed, and Peter was all confused as to why the ex-merc could laugh at a situation as serious as this (“Oh my God, Jameson’s going to splatter the front page with this and the whole city is going to throw _me_ in jail for abusing her!”) Wade laughed harder, ignoring the bit of tears in his eyes, and pulled his sweetums into a long, tender kiss. Which turned raunchy after a few seconds of initial shock.

 

                Wade is seen hanging out at the Tower more and more nowadays. Not just because he (or it probably was Bucky-Bok-Bok. Maybe. Possibly…) finally succeeded in luring the lady Russian spider into their tiny circle of sexy-as-hell assassins, but also because Peter has been pouring over this project in the labs with his Geek Squad. If Wade didn’t know better, and he didn’t for quite a while, he would say that Petey-pie was avoiding him. But, even though he doesn’t understand jack shit about the scientific stuff his baby boy babbles about, it put a smile on Wade’s ugly mug when Peter laces their fingers together, slumping in exhaustion on Wade’s shoulder yet still excited enough to tell the ex-merc whatever breakthrough they made on that day. And _because_ Peter is so tired out on most days, someone has to stick around to escort his Itsy Bitsy Spidey back home. Peter works so late sometimes, he is starting to develop the bruises akin to Stark’s and Banner’s, but his beautiful brown eyes never fail to light up when he sees Wade waiting for him in the common room, often playing a card game with other Avengers who are willing or making coffee for Nat (Btw, Natasha totally would kill people rather than admit this, but somehow Wade’s magical touch makes the motor-grease-shit-Stark-insists-on-drinking taste sublime.) And seeing that look in Peter’s eyes is worth listening to Clint complaining about his shit draws a million times over.

 

                Plus, whenever Wade is home without Peter, he often finds the voices dangerously surfacing. The voices that had disappeared half a year into living with Peter. Wade _knows_ that everything that he is experiencing is _real_ , and that he is _not_ hallucinating. He is _not_ trying to escape into a false reality; he is _not_ going to wake up in one of those wretched Weapon-X facilities. Of course, like always, a tiny part of him still believes otherwise. Which is perhaps the reason, no, definitely the reason why Wade hangs onto his mask so desperately. It’s not even because of how ugly Wade’s face is. Peter is a smart guy, and the Avengers must have already showed Spiderman Deadpool’s files, it’s because after he took the mask off, Wade has to come to face the truth, or so he thinks. Either everything will be just the way it is now, or he will feel the biting stabs of acid on his already ruined skin. And Wade really fucking hates acid baths.

 

                So he occupies himself while Peter isn’t there. There are always people hanging about the Tower, no matter the time and the current missions. It’s not like S.H.I.E.L.D. wants to empty all their resources in one go unless the situation desperately calls for it. Plus Sam and Rhodes also _drop in_ every now and again, whose companies Wade appreciates, because at least they have decent senses of humour. Clint and Nat are still Fury’s favourite baby ducklings, so those two are more likely to disappear for days. On the other hand, Metal Arm Jon Snow is not exactly on the leather coat pirate’s Christmas shopping list, much like Wade himself. So, naturally, Wade is often spending more time with Bucky, even managed to coax the stone-faced Winter Soldier to prank his beloved Stevie-boy once (Wade still wondered how the hell he pulled that one.) They abducted a duck (because they couldn’t find a living chicken close enough to the Tower) from a nearby park, wrapped the vicious little thing’s left wing in tin foil, drew a red star on it and let the poultry loose into Captain America’s star-spangled room. They didn’t have to do much afterwards, the duck wrecked enough havoc to gain Deadpool’s respect,  and watched on Stark’s (stolen) touch pad in an old storage room how Steve Rogers lose his shit. They only decided (more like the lost amputated puppy did) that it had gone too far once Steve was screaming at a highly confused and equally riled up Thor, demanding that the Thunder God get his unruly not-brother here _now_. Honestly, and Peter wonders why the Tin Man absolutely refuses to let Wadey-poo live in his beloved Tower (someone is trying to compensate here, mmhm.)

 

                Wade can sprout off for eternity all the reasons why Peter is so perfect. The biggest one (HA!!) isn’t how Peter can be so sweet, kind and dorky, but can turn into one badass motherfucking Mama Bear in two seconds flat. It is his patience. Particularly with Wade. Oh, sure, he nags about Wade trailing odd socks and underwear everywhere all the time, or how Wade has this certain allergy when it comes to dishwashing (no, it isn’t the soap, Peter _checked_ ) or when the ex-merc needs to take out the trash, but Peter _never_ makes Wade do anything that has the latter uncomfortable. If anything, the cute spider makes sure that Wade is always comfortable with their living arrangements, even if sometimes it isn't what Peter would particularly prefer. For example, he let Wade keep a gun in the drawer of the ex-merc's bedside table, let Wade lie on the side of the bed that is next to the window. Even with the whole mask thing, Peter only mentions briefly a few times in the five months that they have officially been together. Peter isn’t pushy or demanding, he treats Wade like _an equal_ , the _other_ half, and Wade still doesn’t know how the hell he deserves this wonderful baby boy. Not that he complains.

 

                And it makes Wade feel guilty.

 

                He tries, he really does, to show that he cares too, a little bit extra clingier than normal (as Stark observed) but never too overboard. Wade doesn’t just go off and make dinner anymore, he always makes sure to ask what Peter wants and that the grocery bills fit their budget. Even when Peter is earning quite a bit more working at Stark Industries and Wade is in a semi-contract with S.H.I.E.L.D., they still need to save up. Peter has been talking about getting a new place, _their own place_ , with a garden or something because he thinks Wade needs more sunlight. It makes Wade’s scarred little black heart soar, thinking about the few times they have browsed for options online. Neither really has anything specific in mind yet, but Peter wants the garden for Wade and Wade wants a bigger kitchen so he can cook better food for Peter. Giggling like children at the prospect of such a domesticated life, their bodies tangled in a mess of soft blanket and warm breaths as they made love. Wade couldn’t put the smile off his face for weeks after and ‘tis a shame Peter didn’t see most of it.

 

                Which brings back the matter of the mask.

 

                On days when he is sent to do some business for S.H.I.E.L.D. and away from Peter, Wade contemplates eating some bullets. But he never did, he hasn’t for a long time. This life that he has, Wade has never _dreamed_ of having. And, if it really is a dream, Wade doesn’t want to wake up from it. The pain would surely tear him apart, in ways that even Death can’t comprehend. So he keeps the mask on and hopes that this dream never ends.

 

                But this is Wade we are talking about and, as much as the world loves to shit on Parker, Wilson is still its favourite potty.

 

                It was meant to be just another easy clean-up before going back home to bed. Just another small-timed crook doing shady business in a random New York’s seedy alley. Peter was exchanging quips with Wade as they swooped down with perfect hero landing, cornering the bad guy with 80% style and 100% sass. Turned out the fucker is another mad scientist in the plethora of others just like him, and was about to unleash his evil minions unto the unsuspecting city as Team Red intercepted. Oh, yeah, the “evil minions” here are unfortunately acid-spraying robots.

 

                Wade remembers wildly emptying an entire barrel everywhere, his entire face burning and, most of all, Peter’s desperate shouting before everything went black.

 

                This time, the cold embrace of the Mistress Death doesn’t comfort Wade. This time, Wade doesn’t want to linger.

 

                “So eager to leave, my love?” For once, the shivering anticipation is not there and as Wade stares into the empty sockets on Death’s skeletal face, he craves for the warm brown eyes that he loves seeing every waking moment.

 

                “Please don’t tell me it _just now works_ after all the failed trials!” Wade blurts out, flailing his limbs about the thick dark mist he has come to associate with the fragile border between the dead and the living. Death chuckles, a dry, rattling sound, and places a bony hand on Wade’s bicep.

 

                “I’m afraid our time is just as fleeting as ever before and, yet, you do not seem to be happy to spend it in my arms.” Wade’s jaws move, but the cold fingers flutter to his lips, as the Mistress Death places her head under the crook of Deadpool’s neck, “Hush now, and hold me. I can…feel your heart…beating…”

 

                Being sucked out of the haze of death has always been unpleasant. Usually with a splitting headache, especially when something actually eats through his skull. This time, he is extra self-conscious, which only makes the pain worse, as he struggles to come back to the living as quickly as he can, something that Wade has never done before. At least the rest of him is comfortable…

 

                Wait.

 

                His eyes take some time to start functioning again. Wade is pretty sure there they are open, just need some time for the delicate tissues to knit themselves back together. His ears are muffled as well, probably because they are still missing some vital shit that connects them to the brain. Ask Peter, the adorable little nerd should know.

 

                Back it up...

 

                Yep, someone definitely is holding his hand. Something soft is stroking his bare face gently, if not a bit shakily. Wade is somewhat certain that he just heard a sniff. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, yeah, that’s definitely Petey, with puffy eyes and a panic-mixed-with-relief expression. Wade, realising that he can now actually see again and is indubitably gawking like an idiot, feels his fingers twitch on their own to clutch onto Peter’s already bruising grip. His baby boy is still wearing most of his spandex suit, sans the gloves and mask, brown hair spiffed up and caked with what Wade instantly recognised as blood. Wade’s blood. The ex-merc also has belatedly realises that he is naked. Completely. Even the mask is gone. But, strangely, he doesn’t freak out, because Peter is still there. Still _real_. There are a couple of holes on Peter’s top and a gash on his thigh, and baby boy looks _so tired_ , but he never let go of Wade's hand. Wade’s ears haven't functioned very well still, so Peter’s litany of babbles is still like a foreign language to the scarred merc, but Wade finds himself unable to look away.

                “…-your mask was burnt off and I _swear_ I’m not looking intentionally, super brocodes and all, but there was _a hole_ _on your face_ , Wade, and I didn’t know what to do!! The Avengers came to help but I just _couldn’t_!! I had to take you out of there and I-“

 

                “You’re still here.” Wade hears himself croak, a look of wonder on his tattered, nightmare-fuelling visage. Peter frowns, and Wade always finds it cute how his Spidey’s nose wrinkles, his nostrils flaring.

 

                “Of course I am! Where else would I be?”

 

                This time, Wade laughs, the ripple of movements spread through his body (fucking hell that hurts as shit), but he can’t stop, and he tugs on Peter’s hand until the smaller man settles down beside him. When his mirth dies down into small chuckles, Wade has his nose buried into Peter’s hair, heedless of how dirty they both are. Just for a little longer…Until Peter nags him into getting a shower, and Wade truly feels the warm exploding within his mangled body, because Peter is _really here_ , tracing his shy little fingers on Wade’s bare cheeks. For the first time in his entire life, Wade is no longer afraid, only feels love and loved. Stiffly adjusting his head so he can look down and get lost into Peter’s soft brown eyes, the corners of Wade’s mouth stretch impossibly huge, his large hand playing at the soft strands at the base of Peter’s neck.

 

                “You have really beautiful blue eyes, you know?” Peter’s voice is barely above a whisper as he smooths along the ridges of Wade’s hairless eyebrows.

 

                Their kiss isn’t perfect, with a heavy iron tang of blood, peeling chapped lips and massive cases of bad breath, but, as of now, everything is perfect to Wade. Yeah, they are going to be just fine.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like an ass being mean to Wade :(  
> Leave a comment? <3


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